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WHAT YOU WILL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE:
SET YOUR EXPECTATIONS EARLY & CLEARLY
YOU DON’T NEED TO HAVE EVERYTHING FIGURED OUT
HOW YOUR CLIENTS WILL REINFORCE YOUR ROLE
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO LEAD
Here’s what I see too often: a designer does all the work to land the project, builds the trust, dials in those fees to keep them profitable, gets the green light, and then steps back.
Maybe they’re waiting for the contractor to loop them in or the architect to call the first meeting; they just don’t know where their place is. Maybe the designer’s more focused on the selections and goes off and running on the design elements of the project. But more often than not, the designer just doesn’t know what to do next.
But let me tell you, the moment your contract is signed is not the moment to get quiet; it’s the time to lean in.
You want to establish yourself as an equal on this job. The client has hired the architect, the client has hired the contractor. Those two industries have no problem seeing themselves as collaborators, co-workers, colleagues, all of those terms.
We allow ourselves to be seen as lesser than when we stay quiet. We wait for them to let us know what they’d like to have done next.
I want to flip that switch and have you be an equal at that table so that the designer, the contractor, and the architect see each other collaboratively and professionally.
And I get it, designers weren’t trained in construction. We’re afraid of overstepping, afraid of showing our ignorance of something or we simply don’t want to deal with the site logistics because we’re scared we’ll get it wrong.
But when you fade into the background, you’re sending the message to everyone else on the team that your role is decorative, it’s optional, nice to have, but it’s not essential.
The minute your client signs that contract, you have an opportunity to step into your leadership role, which, by the way, you have sold your client on, that you will deliver.
I’m not talking about barking orders or being a control freak, I’m talking about setting expectations early and clearly with the client, the contractor, the architect, or any other trades involved in this project.
Another reason I see designers pull back is because they think they need to have everything figured out.
I hear from designers a lot who say, “Well, Renee, I don’t know a lot about _____.” This includes almost anything, and that’s why they allow the contractor to take the lead.
But let me remind you that leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about being willing to take that first step, being willing to ask smart, interested, curious questions, to initiate conversations, and to say, here’s what I’m planning next.
First, you talk to your client about your role. After that contract is signed, you want to have that conversation explaining exactly what your next steps will look like. Outline how you will be involved in site meetings, material reviews, contractor discussions, and decision making.
That way, if a contractor questions your role or tries to minimize your input in a private conversation with the client, that client is already prepared. They understand your role because you have laid it out for them. And they want that service from you because they green lighted your proposal. They truly understand your value.
Then the good news is that they can confidently reinforce your position because you’ve armed them with clarity.
Don’t wait for the architect to reach out to you – why would they reach out to someone they probably don’t want on the job? Probably doesn’t understand your role. Probably isn’t even sure that the client hired you.
You are to reach out proactively:
Dear so and so,
Mrs. Smith has engaged my services for XY&Z.
Bring me up to speed where we are on the project. (Because we’re not always hired on the first day.)
Get the meetings on your calendar and do not ask permission to join them. Your client has given you permission by hiring you in the first place. Because you have explained your services, your value, and your next steps, they will be anticipating you taking charge of this on their behalf.
This is something else that will need to be gone over.
How often will you be on the site? How are decisions made? Mrs. Smith likes me to run things by her, or I have full authority to make decisions, whatever the case may be.
Your first site meeting, no matter how many people are there, no matter the formality, I want you to walk into the space with intention.
That means go prepared. That means bring drawings. Please don’t walk in with just your purse and think everything is going to be absorbed. It will show you are not prepared and you are not taking this thing seriously. You are going to be taking a lot of notes, especially in the beginning, and I want you to ask questions.
Show that you’re paying attention. One of the biggest mistakes I see is a designer who shows up but doesn’t say much. That silence will get you sidelined.
And then, as always, throughout any project, from the very start to the very end, if you see something, say something. It is just like an emergency. And more importantly, if you don’t understand something, you must ask.
All of this, even the questions showing your lack of knowledge of one specific item, builds trust. It builds trust with your client, your trades, and your contractor, even if they’re a little annoyed by the 17 questions you asked that month. That’s ok. At some point, they asked questions as well.
I know I ask a ton of questions. I hope I continue the need to ask questions because that means I’m constantly learning and growing and challenging myself with bigger, difficult, and more complex projects.
No one teaches you control, it’s something you can take on yourself. And I understand, when people hear the word control, some people feel anxious, right? As women, we don’t want to be bossy or step on anyone’s toes. You don’t want them to feel lesser than. Why? Because you don’t want to feel lesser than. You want to be collaborative, and I completely agree, that is the goal.
But here’s the thing, control and collaboration – they’re not opposites. In fact, they work best together. Because being in control does not mean you’re dominating the job site. It means you’re managing expectations, you’re protecting the design, you’re keeping the client out of difficult, maybe expensive situations, and being a reliable point of contact for the team.
When you lead with clarity and confidence, the entire project benefits. If you’re showing up prepared and proactive, you’re not just protecting your design, you’re also helping the team. You’re not just there to help the client.
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