Featured on this episode:

• Access the full video interview with Elana Steele of Steele Appliance here

What you will learn from this episode:

• What I picked up in the intensity of ultra high end New York projects 30 years ago
• The (often humbling) early years of starting my own firm, and still underpricing everything
• And what finally clicked, a decade ago, as my experience outgrew how I was positioning myself.

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30 Years Ago: Learning to Lead in High-End NYC Projects (Without Seeing Behind the Curtain)

I started out in New York City in the 90s, fresh out of the New York School of Interior Design, working for “8,100 firms” and ultimately as a senior designer for Barbara Halpin Ross, the Art Deco interior designer of the time.

Her clients? No exaggeration, they had their names on the city’s buildings, apartments overlooking Central Park, museum quality pieces in their homes, and historic townhouses. Budgets, truly, felt endless.

But what really shaped me was the scale and pressure of these jobs. Working in New York meant construction was never theoretical; it was high-stakes, deadline-charged, and nothing went as simply as the plans showed.

There were daily hurdles:

• Freight elevators with tight time slots
• Building codes you couldn’t bend
• Not-so-happy neighbors (who often owned half the block)
• And, always, the expectation: What the client wants, the client gets, unless you have a clear, defensible reason why not.

Barbara handed me big projects, and I ran with them end-to-end. On the surface, I was learning everything: how to execute, plan, pivot, and even win over the most demanding clients.

But the part I didn’t see? The business foundation. I was never in those early budget meetings, never saw contracts being set, never learned how profit, risk, and authority actually got priced (and protected). I thought my job was staying within a budget and making the project happen. Turns out, you can be incredible on a jobsite and still be “financially blind” on the business side.

If I could go back, I’d tell myself: being excellent at managing jobs isn’t the same as leading the business. You need both.

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20 Years Ago: The Underrated Cost of Waiting for Permission (and Underpricing Yourself)

Fast forward: I’m back in Delaware, opening my own firm, with a retail store up front, design studio in the back. For the first time, anyone could walk in off the street and become a client.

I was still drawing from my NYC experience, but charged a fraction of the rates. Why? Because I told myself, “I’m not in New York anymore,” and, more honestly, I was afraid. Plus, no one shared their numbers or fee strategies. Transparency didn’t exist, and unless someone opened up (rare), you guessed and hoped.

Here’s the kicker:
None of my peers in the area had construction experience. Trades and contractors absolutely questioned my presence, no secret about it. The ones who would work with me often acted like I was just in the way. I had to out prepare, over-communicate, repeat myself, and basically sell my value on every project.

Sometimes that worked beautifully, and I still work with those trades. But honestly? The constant “educating” was exhausting. The biggest lesson in these years:
When you underprice yourself in construction, you don’t just lose money, you lose authority.
Clients respect clarity, structure, and solid boundaries. When you’re the lowest paid, you become the least valued contributor, no matter how hard you work or how well you organize a meeting.

Credit to my younger self: I was systematizing. Project by project, I created forms, scripts, workflows, sometimes borrowing from New York, sometimes inventing new ones. But I learned the hard way: great systems can’t make up for undercharging. Without clear pricing, you don’t get the seat at the table you need.

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10 Years Ago: The Real Shift from “Bored” to Owning My Authority

Jump ahead a decade, and life was “good on paper.” Two great kids, stable client base, repeat projects, working systems. But something was off. I felt bored, not because there wasn’t enough to do, but because I wasn’t growing into the leadership role my experience earned me.

I’d become seamless at running jobs, but I never marketed (or charged for) the actual expertise I brought. Quietly, I knew my pricing was overdue for a raise, but I hadn’t “put my neck out.” I realized, at last, I had been waiting for permission.

Here’s what finally clicked:
My authority didn’t arrive because I finally “felt ready.” It followed after taking action—again and again. I started answering questions without deferring. I stated decisions instead of cushioning them with endless options. I stopped softening what I already knew to be true. Only then did everything shift:

• Contractors started coming to me first
• Clients stayed calm, even when jobs got rocky
• Meetings became more efficient and focused
• Roles and communication finally landed where they belonged

And project management changed from feeling like organized chaos to actual leadership.

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What Actually Changed? It Wasn’t My Personality, It Was the Structure and Action

What really changed wasn’t me suddenly “finding my voice”; it was the habits and systems underneath.

• Decisions stopped bouncing around waiting for group consensus.
• I became less loud, not more. You don’t have to be the loudest voice to be the clearest leader.
• With better defined scope, pricing, and boundaries, everyone moved together toward a shared goal.

If I could give my young self a note, it wouldn’t be “be more confident,” but treat construction management as leadership, from day one. Your role, scope, pricing, and communication aren’t just optional; they protect your time, your profit, and your peace of mind. The sooner you draw those lines, the sooner your business (and your clients) reap the benefits.

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You Don’t Need to Spend Decades Learning the Hard Way

Don’t wait for permission. Don’t wait for the email, the pat on the back, or the perfect moment when you finally “feel ready.” Start acting from the experience and knowledge you already have, and back it with clear systems, boundaries, and support.

That’s why I do this podcast, and it’s why I built The Designer’s Edge: so you can have a shortcut I never did. Find the people and resources that share openly, believe me, they’re out there, and start building your own foundation.

One last time, for the people in the back: Action comes before permission. Structure shapes your authority. And you can change your trajectory, starting now.

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Like this Episode?

Be sure to check out Episode #177: Charging What You’re Worth in Interior Design

Be sure to check out Episode #140: Developing Your Baseline Confidence to Take on Any Challenge That Comes Up on a Construction Project

Be sure to check out Episode #99: Paying It Forward – Sharing the Knowledge Other Women Taught Me