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WHAT YOU WILL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE:

WHY BOUNDARIES MATTER

HOW BOUNDARIES CAN ACTUALLY CREATE MORE FREEDOM IN YOUR WORK 

HOW TO SET AND MAINTAIN THESE BOUNDARIES FROM THE VERY FIRST DAY

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I understand, boundaries can be very hard to establish, and definitely can be hard to maintain, but without boundaries, we have given all control over to someone else. 

When you’re managing a project, setting these boundaries is key to ensuring that you’re respected, that the project stays on track, and that you’re not sidelined and overrun by client demands or contractor decisions or changes. 

Why designers need to truly understand boundaries

We’re in a service-based industry, and it’s really easy for us to fall into the mindset of always saying yes to make our clients happy, especially if this is with a new client with a new team. Nobody wants to feel like they’re being bossy or pushy.

But it’s interesting – there are lots of studies out there that say when a man sets boundaries, they’re known as assertive or commanding. When we do it, we fear that we’re being pushy. 

This is something that each of us has to work on because we are the only girls on the jobsite, so we can be viewed with that lens, but it doesn’t have to stop us from moving forward and setting boundaries.

Boundaries are not about being pushy or inflexible or creating conflict or constantly saying no. It’s about preventing conflict and miscommunication down the road. So if that’s the way you want to present them to your client, great! Start out with the positive. 

Your clients will understand that, ok, this has worked in the past, and this is what gives you structure, your project direction, and most importantly, clear expectations for everyone, which is honestly what every client wants to know. So when we have these boundaries in place it actually creates the freedom to focus on what you do best, and that’s designing beautiful, functional spaces that greatly impact the quality of your client’s life. 

Without these boundaries, projects tend to spiral, contractors make decisions without consulting us, clients ask for more revisions, and we maybe then agree to, and we end up spending our time putting out fires, chasing down tasks, instead of leading the project. 

Trust that your clients want these boundaries. Honestly, they probably don’t have the language to know how to set them themselves, which, again, is another reason they have hired you for your expertise. So you need to lean into that expertise, knowing that boundaries are the first step for a smooth-running project.

So that is how you set boundaries – right from the very beginning.

This is the very first conversation you have with the client and then the contractor. You will need to clearly establish your role as that projects leader and outline how decisions will be made, how communication will flow, and what the expectations are.

Communication has to have boundaries around it

When it will happen and how it will happen. 

Are you available for calls at any time or will there be set check-ins each week? Be clear on this early. Right from the beginning. Because if you don’t set those boundaries around communication, you’ll find yourself fielding calls, or your client fielding calls and emails, at any hour of the day, night, weekend, or holidays, and it may not happen right away, but it definitely will start once that project heats up. 

If you have a larger project, maybe you do weekly meetings. If you have a mid-size project, you could do shorter meetings, but more frequent, because the job will move faster. Whatever size project you are on is the boundary that you will set up.

You will also want to set up expectations about how they can reach you outside of those meetings. Texts, emails, phone calls – all of those are at play at any given moment. Some designers say they will not text with clients, only email. Great. Make that clear upfront. 

Ask your contractor. I have contractors who only respond to texts because they don’t have wifi on the site or keep their laptops in the truck. Great. Some just want a call. Whatever works for them AND for you. 

These boundaries give me the freedom to see a text come in and say, “Nope, not answering that right now” because it was a Saturday, or holiday, or because whenever it came in was outside of my boundaries. 

So these are important things to get set up, allowing you to take that control.

Boundaries around timelines and decisions

A construction project runs on tight timelines and decision making is critical to keep a project moving forward. Because one of the most frustrating things that can happen is when clients or contractors miss deadlines, or hell, God forbid, you miss a deadline. This can throw everything off schedule.

We can’t always control delays due to materials being back-ordered, damaged, or unforeseen issues, but we can set boundaries around all the other timelines. 

At the start of the project, you want to establish a clear timeline with key milestones and decision points. Key milestones and decision points can be determined can be determined at the beginning of a project. 

This is when you ask your contractor, “When do you need what decision at what point?”  This is how you will communicate with your client and contractor about any delays in the decision-making or material approvals and how that will impact the overall schedule. 

So if your client is terrible with making decisions and you know you need all of those light fixtures on-site or ordered by the first week of November, I might say the decision needs to be made six weeks in advance, eight weeks, whatever is going to give you that leeway to not be panicking over this milestone deadline. And knowing this in the beginning, takes all of that angst away. 

If there ARE any decision-making issues created by the client, this same boundary gives you the ability to say, “Hey, I’m terribly sorry, but if you take longer than X date, we will miss this deadline.” Then, you can go on to explain further what will happen if those light fixtures aren’t shipped by the first week of November. 

It gives the client the accountability that they need. It gives you the accountability you need. And the contractor then knows everything is being handled as much as humanly possible. 

Boundaries for different types of clients

For clients that like to helicopter in on critical decisions only and then helicopter back out, we’ve also had to establish decision-making authority. Who is going to have that final say on what?

Once you set up these boundaries, your job isn’t done, because you need to maintain the boundaries. And that, sometimes, is where the real challenges come in. 

If a client starts asking for something outside of the scope of the project, which almost always happens. They get caught up in the project and feeling excited and want to add – fill in the blank. Then it becomes your job to gently remind them of what was originally agreed to. And then offer a solution that works within that original plan. 

But what I don’t want you to do is over-explain or justify yourself when you’re enforcing the boundaries. You state the boundary, and you move on. By being clear, concise and firm, gives me the authority to take the time to make a thoughtful and careful decision on an issue on a project.

Why saying ‘No’ can be the right answer

I also want to remind you that it’s ok to say no when something doesn’t align with the project scope or the boundaries you set. Saying no is not being difficult. It’s about protecting the integrity of the project as well as your time. This is an important one, as I’ve said before, we tend to be people pleasers. We want to give our clients everything they’re asking for and more. But there will be times when no is the right answer. A no should be followed by a clear explanation as to why it’s no. I can promise you as nerve wracking as it can be to say no, everytime I follow it up with a “And here’s why” I’ve never had a client be dissatisfied. If anything it solidifies my expertise.

Again, boundaries, being clear, concise and firm are absolutely protecting you, your project, you rcient and the contractor. Everybody wins when boundaries are set. 

These boundaries, and setting them from the start, is really crucial to managing construction projects. Because it’s how you’re going to maintain control, you’re going to gain that respect, you’ve been looking for and give you the ability to lead with confidence on each and every project.