Featured on this episode:

• Access the full video interview with Elana Steele of Steele Appliance here
• Join the wait list for The Designers Edge

What you will learn from this episode:

• The real way designers build jobsite confidence
• How to handle tricky contractor, client, and money moments calmly and clearly
• Why leadership is about giving clarity, not always having the loudest voice or most technical know-how

What Confidence Really Means for Designers (It’s Not Just a Personality Trait)

Let’s talk about something that quietly, sometimes painfully, shapes practically every decision we make as designers. How we show up with clients, how we speak up in meetings, how we price our work, and which projects we even say yes to. Confidence: everyone talks about it, but almost no one breaks down how it’s actually built.

Here’s what I hear from so many designers:
They don’t doubt their talent. They doubt themselves as soon as the landscape shifts; when construction starts, or the conversation gets technical, or decisions ripple out in every direction.

I want to reframe how you think about confidence.
It’s not a personality trait. Not bravado. It’s clarity, about your role, your process, and whose job it is to lead.
And here’s the kicker: you don’t wait until you “feel” confident to act. The action comes first. The confidence shows up after.

Where Most Designers Get Stuck (and What Social Media Is Hiding)

Let’s take a step back. James Clear’s book Atomic Habits reminds us: Identity doesn’t come first, action does. We believe because we act, not the other way around.

Yet so many designers, myself included, for years, wait for confidence to show up before taking action:

• “Once I feel confident, then I’ll raise my fees.”
• “Once I know all the answers, then I’ll speak up on the jobsite.”
• “Once I see enough job sites, then I’ll finally lead my own project.”

Truth:
Confidence is the byproduct of taking action first, again and again, even, or especially, when it feels awkward.

If you’re scrolling Instagram, you’ll see fellow designers looking bold and unbothered on job sites. You might assume, “She must just be naturally confident.” Usually, that’s not true.
Most of what you’re seeing? Someone who started acting confident before they truly felt it.

We don’t see the rewrites, the hesitations, or the anxious pre-meeting moments. Social is a highlight reel, but that doesn’t make it fake. It’s just incomplete. Don’t compare your doubts to someone’s curated story. Instead, take that as proof: confidence is always in progress.

Where Confidence Actually Fails You and How to Change That

Want to know when confidence usually cracks? It’s a moment every designer faces:

Picture this: you’re at a site meeting. The contractor says,
“We need to decide today, custom or semi-custom cabinetry. If not, we’ll miss the fabrication window and the schedule moves.”

To the client, it just sounds like a schedule issue.
You, the designer, know the real implications:
Drawings might need to be revised, layouts will shift, lead times change, labor sequencing is impacted, and if the decision is stalled, costs may jump, trades move on, and months are lost.

What most designers do when they don’t feel confident?
They pass the decision right back:
“Well, what do you want to do?”

What does a confident designer say?
“This decision affects both your timeline and your budget. Before we move forward, let’s make sure you understand what each option means.”

Notice the difference:
You didn’t pretend to be a construction expert. You didn’t overstep. You clarified and translated, so the client could decide with intention, not confusion.

Why Clarity Is Actually Kindness (Even If It Feels Uncomfortable)

So many of us have been taught, explicitly or implicitly, that being “kind” means being agreeable, easy, and quick to smooth things over. Brene Brown says it best:
Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.
Avoiding clarity might feel like you’re sparing feelings, but you’re actually delaying the discomfort, and the pain is almost always worse later.

Confidence isn’t about certainty. It’s about courage in that uncomfortable little moment to say:

• “I don’t have enough information yet.”
• “We need to talk about the ripple effects.”
• “We aren’t ready to decide right now.”

That’s not being bossy. It’s being honest and being a leader in your client’s eyes.

Real World Scenarios (and How Confident Designers Respond)

1. When Contractors Push Back

Contractor: “That’s not how we usually do it.”
Without confidence, it’s easy to shrink: “Oh, okay, I just thought…”
What’s better? “Can you walk me through how you typically handle this? I want to make sure we’re aligned with both the design and the client’s priorities before we move forward.”
You didn’t have to prove you knew everything. You just stayed in the moment, didn’t take the bait, and kept it collaborative.

Repeat after me:
You don’t have to win every moment. But you do have to stay present for all of them.

2. When Clients Push on Pricing

Client: “Why is this so much more expensive?”
Automatic, unconfident response: “I know, I know! I can look for other options…”
Confident reply: “Yes, material and labor costs have increased, which is beyond our control. My role is to help you see where the costs are coming from and talk about scope if you want to adjust.”
Now you’re leading. Not absorbing blame for something you can’t control.

Why Confidence Feels Easier In Decorating (and Harder In Construction)

So many designers feel solid presenting decorating jobs because you own most of the process. Familiarity builds belief.

But construction is a different animal. You’re part of an ecosystem: architects, contractors, trades, engineers. Maybe you don’t “own” everyone’s schedule. Maybe it feels like you shouldn’t lead. But that’s exactly why clients hire you, to navigate complexity and make the ripple effects clear.

That is your superpower:
Clients can’t see the implications of every decision. But you can.

Structure Supports Confidence So It Doesn’t Wobble

Here’s the real shift: Confidence isn’t a personality trait. It’s a practiced skill, built by repeatable support.

• When you know and can reference your scope of work, you stop taking on every stray request. “Is this in scope?” takes the weight off you.
• When you understand (and communicate) project phases, you stop being bounced by urgency. “We’ll decide that in the next phase.”
• When you have scripts and language to use over and over, confidence isn’t something you summon, it just shows up.

You stop apologizing. You stop taking on every loose end. You guide, instead of react.

Confidence Doesn’t Wait For You. You Build It One Action at a Time

If you’re thinking, “It must be easier for everyone else”, listen… Every “overnight success” in this field is built on behind-the-scenes hesitations, rewrites, and failed first tries. Confident designers didn’t wait to “feel ready.” They took action first.

Confidence is built, not found. One uncomfortable, clear decision at a time.

And that’s good news: it’s under your control. You get to start now. So take the action, even when you’re still shaky. Then do it again. That’s how the belief follows.

Like this Episode?

Be sure to check out Episode #258: How Designers Earn Authority on the Jobsite

Be sure to check out Episode #235: Who’s in Charge Here? (Hint: It Should Be You)

Be sure to check out Episode #229: The Confidence Myth: Why Years of Experience Aren’t Enough